just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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