i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
