i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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