I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
