is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
