dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
