bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
