Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
