you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
