I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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