ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he shaved USA in his pubs
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So many bounce houses so little time
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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