Umm I'm too high to move.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
