In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
