is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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