U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
