we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
