So drunk its hurt
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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