That's when you crack a 10am beer
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
