I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
