do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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