My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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