Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
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