I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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