I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
