Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
