I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
