i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
