Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
