Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I have already put on my inside pants.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize