$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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