and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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