similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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