Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
