That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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