Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I think I won the penis lottery.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm like, not good at living.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
