She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
