Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
