yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
