I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
