how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
