I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
