She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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