do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
