just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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