If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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