YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
