3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
