garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
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