do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
