I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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